One
by Ragata
Summary: Three months ago, her life was destroyed. She didn't show anyone, but her heart reminded her every single day.


**Title:** One choice.  
Author: Rebecka Larsson.  
**Spoilers:** I don't think you can consider this spoiler-ish. It's something I came up with completly, but it could still happen ;)  
**Disclaimer:** Kate, Jack and Sawyer are fictional characters in Lost, which belongs to the creators and ABC. I take no credit  
for the characters, only the story itself, that I wrote.  
**Written:** September 23rd 2006  
**Summary: **Three months ago, her life was destroyed. She didn't show anyone, but her heart reminded her every single day.  
**A/N:** I decided to write a fanfic about this weeks ago, but I finally had the "strength" to do it. I definetly had more hopes for it and it didn't, at all, become as good as I'd hoped.

**Prolouge**

The air was warm, maybe this was the hottest day of the year, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The grass looked greener  
than it ever had before and there wasn't one single breeze. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the waves  
coming in to shore and the laughter of woman...

**Chapter 1- **

"Stop it," Kate laughed with a warmth spreading through her face. She opened her eyes and looked up at Sawyer.  
"What?" he said, "I thought you liked that." He continued tickling her around her waist and she burst in to laugh once more.  
Whenever she saw his face these days, she couldn't help but smile. But was that love? She could never tell anymore. Ever  
since that day... Three months ago, her life was destroyed. She didn't show anyone, but her heart reminded her every  
single day. Of course, she had cried alot of tears, and everyone saw the pain in her eyes, and felt so bad for her. But now,  
everyone was angry at her for moving on so fast. She was angry with _herself_ for moving on so fast. But she couldn't turn  
back now. And especially not, considering she did have the feelings she had. But still, what kind of feeling was it?  
"I love you, Kate," Sawyer said, gazing into her breathtaking eyes. He really meant what he said. Never, he'd felt like this. But he did now.  
"You too," she answered. She couldn't bare to say the three words. What if she didn't mean them? It wouldn't be fair to neither of  
them. And it wouldn't be fair to Jack. He had done everything in his power to save _her_, and not himself, which was the  
resault of his dead. Not one day would move on until she blamed herself. And she loathed herself because she wasn't by his side  
when he took his last breath. She knew he needed her, but she had been here, home... safe.

**Chapter 2- **

Sawyer leaned down against Kate's smooth lips and embraced them with his. She recieved the kiss like she always did, strong  
yet slow. It had become her signature kiss, no matter how silly that sounded. But she didn't have the energy to make any  
changes. Not since he was gone. She felt like a huge hole had appeared in her body, and her brain felt paralyzed.  
While they were still kissing, Kate slowly opened her eyes, and she ended it quickly. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible.  
"Jack," she whispered. Sawyer turned around to find Jack, very much alive, right in front of them. He watched as the love of his  
life ran to him, and embraced him like never before.  
Kate felt the warm, dirty skin under her arms, and she smelled his shirt, just to truly realize that it was him. But the odd thing  
was that she couldn't feel his arms around her. They were just hanging, right down to the ground. She realized it now...  
"Jack, it's not what it looks like," she said, not knowing at all what to say. "We-- we just..." But she had no answer. His eyes  
were angry and hurt, she could tell. Soon, his mouth opened to spoke.  
"Kate, how can you stand here," he said, "and tell me that it isn't what it is? I'm not blind!" Her eyes, as his, started to fill with  
tears. Sawyer on the other hand, he was just standing there, and he couldn't feel a bone in his body. He was the one paralyzed  
now, and he hated that. He wanted to go up them and take Kate away from Jack and never let her go. But he knew he couldn't.  
Kate was the only woman he couldn't controle. It was an impossible task.

**Chapter 3- **

"I can't do this right now," Jack said, as he turned his back to Kate. "I can't do this." Kate closed her eyes in despair, only to find  
Sawyer standing in front of her when she opened them again. Jack had gone to the Others, and she wouldn't be there to  
celebrate it. Because she would have to talk to Sawyer. She had to...  
"Kate." He cleared his throat to speak again. "Are we over?" Kate looked at his hurt face. He was in totally mental pain, and she  
did hate it. She couldn't answer him. What would she say? No, it was impossible!  
"So the ero comes first," Sawyer said, and Kate could feel a fire of rage fly through her, as he turned his back on her.  
"No, the hero doesn't come first," she said. Sawyer stopped and turned to look at her. Her rage dissappeared and a sadness  
filled her eyes instead. Was this it? Sawyer asked himself. Would she chose him now? "But neither do you," she completed her  
sentence. Sawyer's whole body screamed in despair but he wouldn't break down in front of her. No, he would not give up.  
"Kate, I can't wait forever," he told her. "So if you haven't chosen by the end of this week, I'm gone." Kate shook her head and  
sighed. She couldn't believe he was doing this. But she could understand him.  
"Sawyer, don't ask me to--" He abbrupted her almost right away.  
"I already did..." he said, and walked away, leaving Kate alone on the beach. Where would she go? After Sawyer? After Jack?  
She didn't know inside out anymore. She should never have let herself in to the Sawyer trap. They should've stayed just friends!

**Chapter 4- **

The tears were flowing down her cheeks, and she hated herself more and more for each minute that passed. She had chosen  
not to go after neither Sawyer or Jack, but she had walked in to the jungle... to the caves. She couldn't talk to anyone right now.  
She didn't want to. But she had to admit to herself that if Jack wouldn't have gone missing, she would've chosen him over Sawyer.  
She had always felt more drawn to him. Sawyer was her friend. And she'd screwed everything up now. Maybe it would be the  
best for all of them, if she wouldn't have a romantic relationship with either of them. Just friends... like they always were before.  
But she didn't want to do that! She wanted someone to hold in her arms, or be held. She wanted to be kissed, but with whom?  
"I love Jack..." she whispered to herself, not really realizing that what she thought came out. She heard a rustle just a few feet  
away and quickly stood up and turned around. It was Sawyer. _Oh, no_, she thought. _No more guilt._  
"Kate," he said as he approached her. "I just wanted to tell you that--" Kate saw in his eyes and body that he was going to do  
something that... maybe he didn't really want to do it. "You should be with Jack," he exclaimed. Her eyes were wide-opened  
to the words, and she couldn't believe what she just heard. "It's clear that you love him, and you've always done. I want us to go  
back to where we were. Just friends." Kate smiled to his thoughts, and she was amazed that he said the exact words she just had thought. "I have to admit that it won't be easy to see you with him, and I won't be your girlfriend and talk with you about how he  
kissed or something." She knew he joked, but she took it to her. "That'll be Claire or Sun's job." They both chuckled, and she  
walked up to him and embraced him with tight arms. "I do love you Sawyer," she admitted, "but I'm not _in_ love with you." They both smiled once more and held each other.

**Chapter 5- **

Jack was sitting on the beach, looking out over the blue ocean. The weather was still very warm, but it was getting more windy."Hi, Jack," Kate said as she sat down next to him in the sand.   
"Hey," he said, without even facing her. She slowly and hesitant took his hand in hers. She wasn't sure if he'd turn away and   
leave or if he would listen to her. He turned his looks to their hands, and to her shock, he held her hand too, and looked in to her  
eyes. She smiled at him, and could feel tears of relief fill up in her eyes. But he wouldn't go that far. "I'm glad you believed in me," he said with a sarcastic voice. Kate closed her eyes, and a tear ran down when she opened them.  
"Jack, I love you," she said, right out of the blue. "And I want to be with _you_, and nobody else." "Kate, you know I love you too," he said. "I've always done. But you went to Sawyer's arms as soon as I was gone." Kate sighed  
and threw herself in to his arms to hold him,harder than ever.  
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "That was a mistake. And I want to make it up to you, every day for the rest of my life."  
Jack held her arms and pushed her back a little so he could see her eyes. There were more than one tear there now.  
"That won't be necessery," he said. "You already got me." He leaned over and kissed her to remember everything she'd gotten  
back. And this kiss was strong and slow, but there was emotion to it also. There was love. From both of them.

**The End **

-- Finished --


End file.
